Humour, N Z Women their perceived gender insensitivity per se , job creation, my predicted All Blacks latest loss to the handsome Wallabies, et al.
In an unabridged attempt to contribute to the ongoing debate on the subject of New Zealand women. I heard an Australian damsel and doyenne of the sports arena call them “scrubbers”. When I never hear a denial of this allegation it runs the real risk of becoming accepted internationally. I am deeply concerned about this. Are we mere males guilty by association?
We all observe that they, N Z women that is, have an ever increasing & ever widening role to play in the broad based society that 52% of our nation’s personhood or “make up”. Why are you made up in this manner? It hides your obvious charm of which we are not oblivious to.
Next I would like to talk about the gap in our almost dually made up society and I sit here lamenting looking at my credit card records showing the number of times I have bought women flowers. Roses in particular. My lamenting and ongoing sadness is brought upon by the undeniable claim and acceptance of the fact that not once have I been in receipt of a heart-warming, gender endearing gift like I have afforded the “gentler sex”. Flowers. I am close to tears.
There are many gaps in N Z society. This gap is between the end of N Z women’s “fingers” and the almost impenetrable clasp on the top of their purses. This again I lament and say it is when it comes time to women buying men flowers. We to like gifts of flowers and signs of appreciation as to the mere role we play in your lives. I can imagine the above mentioned “fingers” curling up at the above description of the N Z women and into a fist form. Please please don’t do that ladies otherwise you will be physically confirming in front of your own eyes and perhaps the eyes of impressionable young children the, as at this time undenied suspicion, that you are “tight fisted”. Try unfurling them and see if the thought of crow barring undone the tight clasp of your purse and purchasing men flowers and making us happy has any appeal. Especially as our nation’s premier sports team got “handsomely” beaten by the handsome Wallabies as I predicted. The Wallabies must be handsome to as there are over 200,000 N Z women residing in their midst. Many New Zealand males will need cheering up this morning.
You are the physically weaker sex and therefore need defending along with your international reputation. My Pommie mate “little Mike” however warned me about the only area whereby N Z women are equally strong, and stronger in many instances, as us mere males is when it comes to one of our almost identical bodily organs. He referred to it as the “iron fish hook”. It is exceptionally strong, barbed and sharpened with much use and can lash out/strike and catch us mere males at any time. That’s right you guessed it, your tongue. Described as “the primary organ of taste”. “Hell hath no fury” and all that. I am starting to shake worrying what wroth I might incur when I go to the supermarket after posting this, in my Australian guernsey. Might go in drag or perhaps a little cross dressing disguise and a touch of “make up”. That would be akin to “hiding behind the skirts of” n’est pas?
As to the aspect of New Zealand women’s claim to equality, failure to show the same and “bridge the gap” between the end of their fingers and their purses coupled with the need to create employment. I challenge N Z women to buy us men flowers. Daffodils are green and gold like in colour, just like the winning Wallabies guernsey’s or you can show us you are as described above tight fisted and by definition gender insensitive. Fine line between gender insensitivity and gender discrimination ladies. Could we have the vote back please? I said please! Please show us “mm’s” that you accept when it comes to equality there is no gain without pain, in this case financial, and buy us Daffodils. Perchance some of the proceeds could go to the Cancer Society. To date the ability of N Z women to buy us “mm’s” flowers has been appalling. I don’t want you running off and purloining these Daffodils from our parks and reserves either please ladies. Buy them! Bridge the gap show us you appreciate us and buy us flowers. Please ladies wave aside the herein exposed gender insensitivity along with your hoard of moths waiting to find freedom and fresh air, buy us daffodils and “bridge the gap”. This hoard of moths is alongside your hoard of cash. The florists will be busy and some jobs will be created It’s a win win win situation. The we can see that you are not entranced and enchanted with gender insensitivity. Have you no shame?
There may well be N Z women out there considering waving two fingers with forcefulness at my prose and I put it to those of this inappropriate viewpoint that these are the very same fingers that could be used to make me and my fellow “mm’s” happy and apply them with the same force to the clasp on top of your purse. Or of course you could refurl them up.
My previous blog proved to be true and the Wallabies “handsomely” beat the All Blacks last night. My initial prediction on next weeks game, and that is all it is, game of sport, are that the Wallabies will throw the game to lure the All Blacks into a false sense of hope before beating them handsomely again in the “World Cup”. When I look at the dozens of forward passes not pulled up by what looked like to be a previously highly controversial English referee not forgetting the high shot then the All Blacks got off lightly.
A happy green and gold Wallaby supporter. That’s right they are the same colours as the Daffodils we are now all expecting soon. Think of the job creation the regaining of your image in N Z and internationally. I sense the need for change and the need for you to become scrubbed up and only time will expose the degree necessary.
Heck I am going to consider strongly expressing my rights and leave the toilet set up too. So take that ladies/ damsels, et al.
“No Nukes” and mere (no not mare) male (We know our place ladies, bare foot, passive and in the kitchen) E & O E
Blog # 21 9/8/2015